When I read my April notes from last year (you can see it if you’re my Facebook friend) at the beginning of this month, I feel encouraged at first. It’s been a year since my last state of being and sometimes it’s refreshing to look back on your past self and reflect on your current self. I actually like the notes so much that I include that note in a book that I dedicated to myself. I made that book so that I can remind and encourage myself from time to time in this lifetime. It’s nothing special, but it’s an uplifting book for me to have anyways.
But reading my notes two weeks, one week ago, I realized that I have been in a completely different state of self. Last year’s note reflect my serenity, but this year’s note is going to be different since there are so many things happening in my life right now, extrinsically and intrinsically, that I feel like I don’t have enough time in the world to really comprehend what’s going on. I’m not going to list those things here since they’re mostly personal, but they do gradually affect my spiritual and mental state all month long, especially during Lent season. Suddenly, the Lent season is so heavy and difficult, frustrations and tensions come easy, and unexpected annoyances come my way endlessly. And while I can keep my composure most of the time, I would not say that I am strong enough to handle these things.
There are moments of break-downs, moments of escape, and moments of mourning. Moments so painful sometimes I am at loss of what to do, and moment s of suffering. Moments when it’s hard just to get up each morning and go on my way throughout the day, and moments of abandon. But God bless us, above all, there are moments of inspiration, hope and promise of untold compassion.
We are all familiar with those moments, especially the first ones mentioned. Sometimes we feel no one appreciates us, no one understands us. Sometimes we feel like we deserve medals of honor for something so grand and beautiful, but no one seems to care and even take us for granted. Sometimes we feel used and betrayed, and often times we feel angry and furious.
But the thing is, these are all part of what life continuously throws at us. Not to see how great we are as individuals, to marvel the achievements we reach. But to see how we handle things with positive attitude and give thanks even at the blackest abyss, and to move forward by helping others. Life is not about us. It’s about how we use our life to reach out to others.
And by reaching out, I’m not saying you have to always give your change to every homeless person you meet or every charity you come across to (even though it’s great if you can do that J ). It’s about reaching out in your own way; giving your own unique gifts and talents to people surround you to make them feel special. When they cry of happiness of the things you do unconditionally, you know you succeed. And it makes you feel good. And for that moment, the black abyss is instantly gone and you’re back in the light.
It is up to us to make this world a better place. So today on April 26, 2011, I’d like to wish all of you the gift of giving. I hope that from time to time, you will reach out to others and make them feel special; make them happy and sincerely touched. Make their life a little bit better. Make them turn away from the black clouds of their life, even just for a moment. And at that moment, you will too.
Have a great day you guys,